Riddles, Puns and Jokes for all kinds of Folks!

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Brandon Justice

Brandon Justice

Brandon Justice

Alex Hanson, Staff Reporter

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Bet you haven’t heard these before! These riddles, puns, and jokes are sure to make any kind of person laugh!

 

Jokes

 

A passenger in an airplane was far up in the sky when the pilot began to laugh hysterically.

Passenger-“What’s the joke?”

Pilot-“I’m thinking of what they’ll say at the asylum when they find out I’ve escaped.”

 

“Why are you so sad?” a friend asked a man whose aunt had just died. “You never appeared to care for the poor old lady.”

“I didn’t,” admitted the sad man, “but I was the means of keeping her in a lunatic asylum during the last five years of her life. She has left me all her money and now I’ve got to prove that she was of sound mind!”

 

Professor-“Name two pronouns.”

Student-“Who, me?”

 

Freshman-“Professor, I can’t go to class today.”

Professor-“Why?”

Freshman-“I don’t feel well.”

Professor-“Where don’t you feel well?”

Freshman-“In class.”

 

As the boat was sinking, the captain lifted his voice to ask:

“Does anyone know how to pray?” One man spoke confidently in answer:

“Yes, captain I do.”

“That’s all right then,” he declared. “You go ahead and pray. The rest of us will put on life-vests. We’re one short.”

 

Puns

 

Doctor-“How did you get here?”

Sick man-“Flu!”

 

“Give an example of periodic furniture.”

“Well I should say an electric chair, because it ends a sentence.”

 

A man claims to have found the color of the wind. He said he went outside and found it blew.

 

“It is said that a human being has seven millions of pores through which perspiration and exhausted particles of the system escape.”

“We are all pore creatures.”

 

“Have you heard the story of the peacock?”

“No.”

“Ah, well it’s a beautiful tale.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Riddles

 

What is one question you can never honestly answer “yes” to?

Answer: “Are you dead?”

 

No matter where I walk. No matter where I roam. I’ll never be too far from home! What am I?

Answer: A tortoise.

 

Who makes it, has no need of it?

Who buys it, has no use of it?

Who uses it can neither see nor feel it?

Answer: A coffin.

 

If you have me, you want to share me. If you share me, you haven’t got me. What am I?

Answer: A secret.

 

Imagine you are in a dark room. How do you get out?

Answer: Stop imagining.

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Riddles, Puns and Jokes for all kinds of Folks!